You may want to get to know a guy fast. This is frowned upon by most dating gurus and self-help articles on the subject, but hey, the modern girl has places to be! You can’t always schedule three or five dates to see if you’re into this guy for the long haul. If you’re the type of gal who wants to get in and out, this drill of eight first date questions will give you everything you need to know about whether to bother with another date. Remember never to deliver the questions in drill format and if you don’t get all of the questions in, don’t worry about that either. It’s all about feeling out your date to see if he has potential to be The One.
- Where did you grow up? From here, he’ll be forced to talk about his background and how he got to where he is. He may tip-toe around the question, which can be a sign that he isn’t into family or isn’t into sharing these things at this time. From there, it’s up to you whether to wait it out to see if he comes around or not. He may go into his family situation or his views on family in general.
- Where did you go to school? For some, the college experience was a huge part of their lives. Finding out where a person went to school may lead them to talk about their major, their college experiences, any community activities they were involved in or how they got into their industry. This is a light and easy question that most people enjoy discussing, even on a first date.
- Have you traveled much? Some of us would live in a different country every month if we had the opportunity, while others have no desire to see how other cultures live. If you’re looking at whether or not he’s The One, a question like this will show you what camp he falls into. Even if he hasn’t traveled much, he most likely will go into that he would like to travel a lot in the future or he will make it clear he has no interest in traveling to new places. You may look at this as a small thing, but it does make a difference once you’ve settled down with someone. If you’re the type that loves to see how others live, you may get restless taking trips within your state or hitting the same chain resorts on a beach every vacation.
- Do you like kids or animals? If you aren’t feeling gutsy enough to blatantly ask a guy if he likes kids (and face it, this can scare a guy off), ask if he likes animals instead. While children aren’t animals, it will show his compassionate side or show that he really isn’t connected to things like this. There are plenty of women who aren’t interested in having kids or a pet either. That doesn’t make them bad people, it just means they aren’t into these things and as a relationship grows, that could post a problem if you’re on opposite sides of the fence.
- Are you active? This is another one that may not seem like it matters much, but in reality it does. If you’re a health nut who sticks to green juices and lean meats while juggling spinning and marathons, you may not match up with a guy who sits in front of the TV every night and hits fast food restaurants daily. Getting active together is also a great way to connect with your partner while being healthy. If you aren’t the type that devotes time or a conscious effort to your health, it most likely won’t matter if your potential soul mate does.
- Are you happy with your job? Let’s get one thing straight – not everyone lives for their work. A lot of people do, but in a down economy, more and more people are realizing that work is just that. For some, clocking in, clocking out and garnering a steady paycheck is enough. Not everyone is after a McMansion and four cars. This question is one that he will most likely be honest about. He will say he loves the industry he’s in, but hopes to have a different position eventually or he will say he likes what he does, but his life doesn’t revolve around work. Either way, you’ll get your answer and you can decide if it lines up with your philosophy on lifestyle and career.
- Would you rather go out or stay in? Some like to stay in and cuddle, others love the night life. It can cause some friction if a couple is on opposite ends of the spectrum. There’s nothing wrong with changing up your routine once in awhile, but for the most part, both partners should prefer going out or staying in. Some people have a packed social calendar, with lots of time devoted to birthday parties and work events. Others want to have a simple dinner nightly, followed by reading or watching a movie. Ask him what he prefers and get an idea of what your nights might be like for the rest of your life. Does it seem like something you’d like for the long haul?
- Are you religious? This may seem like a very personal question, and it is to some extent, but it isn’t one that crosses the boundary for a first date. If the guy is religious, he will be happy to say he regularly attends church and what his religion is. He will also be interested in your own religious beliefs and eager to hear where you stand on the subject. If he isn’t religious, he won’t have a problem sharing this. If he’s interested in a relationship with you, he will want to know your thoughts. Whether you are religious or not, it is important you share the same views on faith as your potential partner.
The next time you have a first date, sit down and start asking your questions. If you meet a guy online or through a friend, you probably have some idea of what this person is looking for out of a relationship at this stage in his life. If the guy makes a comment on your questions, be confident enough to be honest. Tell him you aren’t interested in getting to know someone who doesn’t hold the same values and ideals as you because you’re looking for a partner. There’s nothing wrong with being direct as long as it’s presented in a polite manner. Refrain from being icy if you don’t get answers you want. Remember it’s better to get to know the real him in the beginning than have him pretend to be something he’s not.