The internet can be one of the best platforms for finding a man who shares the same Catholic faith, ideals, and love for God as you do. Sadly though, the internet can also be a breeding ground for dangerous people who use online dating services for the wrong reasons. Because you never know who you might meet on the web, when communicating with online Catholic singles it is imperative that you use your best judgment to maintain the highest level of emotional and physical protection. So with the following guidelines, you can plan a safe first date with your cyber guy and still have an enjoyable time.
#1: Check him out. Before you dash out on the town with a gentleman you’ve never met, you might want to do a little more prep work than just putting together a fabulous outfit with a spritz of your best perfume. You might also want to run a background check on your potential match. There are many websites that can do exactly that, but you can also easily do one on your own. Type his name into Google and various social networking sites and see if you can uncover any incriminating evidence indicating that the guy’s not who he says he is. What you find may help you decide whether or not you’d be better off staying home with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.
#2: Meet him in a crowded place. The first few times you go out with someone you met online, the smartest thing to do is to meet them at a busy, public venue and never rely on your date for transportation. Places like coffee shops, restaurants, daytime parks or museums all provide a casual and relaxed atmosphere where you can feel comfortable getting to know someone.
#3: Tell a friend. Of course you want to share all the details of your new cyber dating life with those closest to you! But other than just dishing on how devastatingly handsome your new guy is, you need to let a friend or family member know his name and where you are going on your first date. Be sure to keep your cell phone handy and call this friend or family member as soon as you get home to let them know you’re safe.
#4: Limit the information you give. If you’ve gotten to the point in your online communications when you feel like its time for an in-person meeting, then most likely you’ve spent quite a bit of time talking and learning about each other over the internet. But while on your date, still be cautious about what you divulge in conversation. It is best to keep information like your home address, place of work and other personally identifying material under wraps until you know for sure what kind of guy you are dealing with.
#5: Be aware of your surroundings. The idea of meeting someone you’ve connected with over the internet is very thrilling. As exciting as this is, however, it is important that you not sacrifice your safety to please someone else. You can have an enjoyable experience, but be mindful of what is going on around you at all times. Watch out for your belongings, especially your drink—and be sure to skip the alcohol as it will only impair your judgment.
#6: Trust your gut. Should you feel that something is off or wrong during any part of your first date, listen to that feeling. Don’t be afraid of bowing out of your date early if the guy is making you uncomfortable. Any gentleman pursuing you for the right reasons will understand your need for security and won’t question your safety precautions.
Dating is already tough enough as it is without having to factor in religion. When you’re trying to find a man or woman that’s also a good Catholic, it becomes that much more difficult. If you are single, rooted deeply in your Catholic faith, and haven’t stumbled upon that special someone yet, you may be wondering if you’re ever going to find a person with whom to share a religion, love, and a life in which you can grow together spiritually.
When it comes to searching for love as a Catholic, there are some common misconceptions out there. If you’ve ever found yourself with some serious questions, be sure to keep reading and find the answers that may facilitate your quest for a meaningful relationship:
Does God want me to find someone? Most Christians believe that God has a plan; the frustrating part is that we don’t know what that plan is. The one thing we do know is that He wants each of us to find our soul mate. But you can’t just leave the process in the hands of God. If you truly want a relationship, you have got to put yourself out there and open your heart to finding your match.
Where is the best place to find Catholic singles? With the ease and accessibility that the internet has provided us, it comes as no shock that the web is a great place to meet Catholic singles. The internet gives us benefits like conveniently searching for love from the comfort of home and the ability to weed through huge databases containing thousands of singles. Not only should you take to the cyber realm, but there are also some more traditional places to find love: church, singles events, social activities, volunteering, etc. Get involved!
Is online dating for Catholics? Of course! Christian and Catholic online dating services are some of the best ways to find someone who shares your values and interests. These sites allow you to broaden your chances of meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right by opening you up to people outside of your immediate community and network of friends. Dating services provide a non-threatening environment, where even shy people feel comfortable making connections that are based on compatibility.
Are internet dating sites safe? Online dating services are safe—when you use them correctly. To do this, follow the tips below:
- Never give out any personally identifying information: home address, place of employment, email address, phone number, financial details or last name.
- Plan a first date in a crowded, public place—never rely on your date for transportation. Be sure to tell someone where you are going and with whom. Never leave your belongings unattended and keep your cell phone handy.
- Listen to your gut and cease contact with anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable.
How can I be certain the person I’m dating believes in God? To be sure of a dating mate’s Christian identity, keep an eye out for meaningful signs of a spirit-filled and genuine interest in God and behavior that demonstrates the obedience of God’s word. A single Christian person will try to live their life with the main goal of placing God and their faith above themselves and others. However, just because someone doesn’t lead a virtuous existence doesn’t mean they don’t believe in God—many do but have carnal mindsets, pursuing only worldly desires. Be aware of what kind of person you are looking for and how important a Christian lifestyle is to you in a potential match.
What are some general first date tips? Above everything, safety needs to be your top concern. When you play it safe, the rest is easy…
- Be honest and be yourself in all interactions—other honest people pursuing you for the right reasons will appreciate what makes you who you are.
- Don’t bring up any bitter issues about your past. Keep the conversation light and always maintain a positive attitude—remember, positivity attracts positivity.
- Engage the other person. Be sure to actively listen to your date, ask questions and give your respectful opinions.
Can I have sex if I’m a single Christian? The Bible tells us to flee fornication before marriage. If you truly want to lead an abundant Christian life, it is important to abstain from sex before there is a wedding band around your finger. God’s plan is to give you someone who completes you not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If this is the kind of relationship you want, make sure you look for someone who holds the same ideas and beliefs as you.
If you’ve decided to take your quest for a spiritually and emotionally enriching relationship to the World Wide Web, that is great news. The internet provides a place where you can find many Catholic men and women who share the same morals and values as you. Unfortunately, however, there are some signed up to online dating websites who don’t have such pure intentions. To avoid beginning a potentially dangerous cyber relationship with one of these people, take a look at the following safety mistakes many online daters make, and learn what you can do instead to protect yourself:
Mistake #1: Giving out too much info. When creating your online profile and interacting with fellow online singles, it is important that you don’t give out personal information that could be used in malicious ways against you. If you disclose your home address, place of employment, private email address, phone number and even your last name you could be setting yourself up for an unwanted encounter with an internet stranger.
Instead…Keep anything that you wouldn’t want in the wrong hands to yourself until you are absolutely, 100% sure that the person you are communicating with is legit and worthy of your trust. Those interested in you for the right reasons will respect and understand your need for privacy.
Mistake #2: Rushing into a meeting. Listen to your mother’s advice when she told you to take things slow. You may think you know someone after a few emails and phone calls, but because of the anonymity that the internet provides, you never know who you are going to meet when an internet connection turns into a face-to-face encounter.
Instead…The average amount of time singles spend getting to know one another before meeting in person is about three weeks; therefore, you can use that as a good time frame to go by. However, it is fine to wait longer than that if need be. Wait until you feel it is right and then plan a safe first date.
Mistake #3: Neglecting safety for fun on the first dates. If you allow your date to pick you up from home on your first couple of dates, you are putting yourself at an automatic disadvantage. This person now knows where you live and you don’t even know if they gave you their real name. If you let your guard down for a night of fun, you are welcoming trouble and making yourself an easy target for a predator.
Instead…Opt to meet your internet match at a crowded, public place using your own ride. Make sure that you let someone know where you are going, along with the name of your date. Skip the alcohol as it will do nothing but hamper your good-decision making skills and make you less aware of what’s going on around you. Be sure to keep a cell phone handy and an eye on your belongings (especially your drink) at all times.
Mistake #4: Ignoring your gut. If someone you met online is putting off a shady vibe and your gut is telling you that something is off…chances are that something really is off.
Instead…Always listen to your intuitive side—it rarely lies! It is crucial that you never put your physical and emotional well-being on the line just because someone is paying for your dinner. Always have a plan of action and be sure to assert yourself confidently by getting out of a risky situation to a safe place. Don’t be embarrassed of another person’s opinion of your precautionary behavior—your safety is far more important in the long run.
You may want to get to know a guy fast. This is frowned upon by most dating gurus and self-help articles on the subject, but hey, the modern girl has places to be! You can’t always schedule three or five dates to see if you’re into this guy for the long haul. If you’re the type of gal who wants to get in and out, this drill of eight first date questions will give you everything you need to know about whether to bother with another date. Remember never to deliver the questions in drill format and if you don’t get all of the questions in, don’t worry about that either. It’s all about feeling out your date to see if he has potential to be The One.
- Where did you grow up? From here, he’ll be forced to talk about his background and how he got to where he is. He may tip-toe around the question, which can be a sign that he isn’t into family or isn’t into sharing these things at this time. From there, it’s up to you whether to wait it out to see if he comes around or not. He may go into his family situation or his views on family in general.
- Where did you go to school? For some, the college experience was a huge part of their lives. Finding out where a person went to school may lead them to talk about their major, their college experiences, any community activities they were involved in or how they got into their industry. This is a light and easy question that most people enjoy discussing, even on a first date.
- Have you traveled much? Some of us would live in a different country every month if we had the opportunity, while others have no desire to see how other cultures live. If you’re looking at whether or not he’s The One, a question like this will show you what camp he falls into. Even if he hasn’t traveled much, he most likely will go into that he would like to travel a lot in the future or he will make it clear he has no interest in traveling to new places. You may look at this as a small thing, but it does make a difference once you’ve settled down with someone. If you’re the type that loves to see how others live, you may get restless taking trips within your state or hitting the same chain resorts on a beach every vacation.
- Do you like kids or animals? If you aren’t feeling gutsy enough to blatantly ask a guy if he likes kids (and face it, this can scare a guy off), ask if he likes animals instead. While children aren’t animals, it will show his compassionate side or show that he really isn’t connected to things like this. There are plenty of women who aren’t interested in having kids or a pet either. That doesn’t make them bad people, it just means they aren’t into these things and as a relationship grows, that could post a problem if you’re on opposite sides of the fence.
- Are you active? This is another one that may not seem like it matters much, but in reality it does. If you’re a health nut who sticks to green juices and lean meats while juggling spinning and marathons, you may not match up with a guy who sits in front of the TV every night and hits fast food restaurants daily. Getting active together is also a great way to connect with your partner while being healthy. If you aren’t the type that devotes time or a conscious effort to your health, it most likely won’t matter if your potential soul mate does.
- Are you happy with your job? Let’s get one thing straight – not everyone lives for their work. A lot of people do, but in a down economy, more and more people are realizing that work is just that. For some, clocking in, clocking out and garnering a steady paycheck is enough. Not everyone is after a McMansion and four cars. This question is one that he will most likely be honest about. He will say he loves the industry he’s in, but hopes to have a different position eventually or he will say he likes what he does, but his life doesn’t revolve around work. Either way, you’ll get your answer and you can decide if it lines up with your philosophy on lifestyle and career.
- Would you rather go out or stay in? Some like to stay in and cuddle, others love the night life. It can cause some friction if a couple is on opposite ends of the spectrum. There’s nothing wrong with changing up your routine once in awhile, but for the most part, both partners should prefer going out or staying in. Some people have a packed social calendar, with lots of time devoted to birthday parties and work events. Others want to have a simple dinner nightly, followed by reading or watching a movie. Ask him what he prefers and get an idea of what your nights might be like for the rest of your life. Does it seem like something you’d like for the long haul?
- Are you religious? This may seem like a very personal question, and it is to some extent, but it isn’t one that crosses the boundary for a first date. If the guy is religious, he will be happy to say he regularly attends church and what his religion is. He will also be interested in your own religious beliefs and eager to hear where you stand on the subject. If he isn’t religious, he won’t have a problem sharing this. If he’s interested in a relationship with you, he will want to know your thoughts. Whether you are religious or not, it is important you share the same views on faith as your potential partner.
The next time you have a first date, sit down and start asking your questions. If you meet a guy online or through a friend, you probably have some idea of what this person is looking for out of a relationship at this stage in his life. If the guy makes a comment on your questions, be confident enough to be honest. Tell him you aren’t interested in getting to know someone who doesn’t hold the same values and ideals as you because you’re looking for a partner. There’s nothing wrong with being direct as long as it’s presented in a polite manner. Refrain from being icy if you don’t get answers you want. Remember it’s better to get to know the real him in the beginning than have him pretend to be something he’s not.
Beware of Free
Most Catholic dating sites are free to join, but in order to interact with others, you have to pay up. This can be good because it usually means a site brings out a quality crowd of people who are serious about meeting others, whether it’s as friends or a full-blown long term relationship. There’s nothing wrong with paying to find the love of your life, but it can be pricey. Avoid this by snagging a deal with a coupon for a Catholic dating site.
Coupons Just Make Sense
An online Catholic dating coupon is exactly what it sounds like, a link that you can use to get a discount or free trial at the site offering it. If it’s your first time using an online dating site you may be ready to plunk down cash, but remember not all Catholic singles dating sites are created equal, so using a coupon minimizes your cost and your risk. There’s no real downside to a coupon, but look around to see if you can find the best coupons because they do differ from site to site.
Going From Free to Pay
Remember that most Catholic dating sites are free at the beginning. This means you’re allowed to register and peruse singles for free. If you want to go beyond that, you typically have to pay. With a coupon you can sign up for a month or a select number of months, depending on the deal. A month is just enough to reel you in, but often not long enough to make a connection. In any case, its a good idea to try a coupon or free trial, but know that there’s a good reason that the Catholic dating sites offer them, because you’re more likely to turn into a paying customer that way. In the end you’ll have to decide whether your limited experience was worthwhile enough to cause you to spend money getting a fully pay membership.
Coupons Typically Don’t Mean a Limited Experience
Just because you have a coupon doesn’t mean you’ll be working with a watered-down version of the Catholic dating site. You’ll still have access to all applications and you’ll interact with others in chatrooms or on messageboards. For the duration of the coupon you’ll be able to interact with others privately. Usually the coupon will run for a select time and will continue to bill your card after this promotion is over. Be aware of this in case you don’t find anyone you match with. You want to keep an eye on this, so you can cancel your membership before the automated billing starts.
Use Multiple Coupons to Try Multiple Sites
Sign up for free trial at a Catholic dating sites and get a feel for each one. You don’t have to sign up for a ton, but three or four should do it. You’ll find yourself meshing well with one or two sites. After registering and creating a profile for these sites, you can play around with the applications. Once you see if the site works for you, you can search out a coupon or promotional code for this particular Catholic dating site and make the most of the limited time you’ll have to interact with other Catholics looking for company.
Free Usually Means Free Trial
The top free Catholic dating sites have coupons for interacting with people through private messages. If you want to register for a site and hang out, that is usually free, but when it comes to interacting with others you have to pay a fee. Coupons or promotions for Catholic dating sites make it simple to try a new site and connect with a person for a limited amount of time without breaking the bank. Don’t think because you have a coupon for a Catholic dating site you’ll have to skimp on features. It’s still the same experience, but you have to work quickly to find a mate.
If you Have a Coupon Browse First
These top free Catholic dating sites have many applications that make it simple to interact with singles. There’s nothing wrong with perusing the site, but you may want to do this before your coupon has kicked in. Sign up for the site and take a look around. You’ll find out that it’s easy to use and simple to find people who have the same interests as yourself. Get a feel for the site and take advantage of the free registration while you poke around the site. After you seek out people you want to meet, apply the coupon.
Free Trials Typically Require a Credit Card Anyway
Often these sites ask for your credit card information and will continue to bill you after the coupon runs out. That means you’ll have to cancel the membership yourself. Don’t expect the site to do this for you and don’t be surprised if you see you’ve been billed for a month after the promotion expires. The top free Catholic dating sites with coupons give you a taste of what they have to offer for a limited time, making it worth your while to try out the site. If you’ve never tried an online dating site before, finding a site with a coupon or promotion is the way to go. You may not know what to expect and a discounted price sweetens the deal.
Once You Pick Your Free Site, Dive In
There’s nothing wrong with be intimidated with online dating. For many, it’s new territory. Catholic dating sites do a lot of the legwork for you. If you’re after someone with the same faith, the site has plenty of Catholic singles looking to meet someone. Remember that not everyone on these sites are looking for the love of their lives. Some are looking for friends who share the same faith or looking to get their feet wet in the world of dating. The profiles on the site will designate the level of relationship the person is seeking. Use that as your guide when reaching out to people Just because someone is looking for a friend doesn’t mean there won’t be a connection and that friendship could blossom into more.
Free Isn’t Always Safe… So Be Careful
The top free Catholic dating sites offer anonymity to users. You can never assume that just because you’re on a Catholic dating site you’re safe. Catholic dating sites are thorough in protecting users, but you can never be too careful. To keep yourself safe, share your plans to meet with a date in real life with a close friend or family member. If it feels like too much to have someone escort you to the date (which should always be in a public place), have a friend or family member call you about 20 or 30 minutes into the date. This will signal to them that the date is going according to plan and you’re safe and sound while enjoying new company
By Picking a Catholic Site, You’re Already Ahead of the Game
The best Catholic dating sites have a lot to offer Catholic singles. After all, they do the bulk of the work by only allowing Catholics to join the site. For those who are looking for someone with the same faith, this is a huge piece of the puzzle for finding the right person. Catholic dating sites are a fantastic way to meet singles in your area and make a real connection.
Safety is Your Highest Priority
The best Catholic dating sites should protect your safety. You never want to share too much, too soon. It’s important to abide by the Catholic dating sites rules and stick to them. Always report any inappropriate advances or comments. The best Catholic dating sites take users’ safety very seriously. If it doesn’t end with you, it will end with someone else, so don’t be afraid to report inappropriate users. Remember that just because you’re on a Catholic dating site, it doesn’t mean you’re safe. There are people with ulterior motives everywhere and it’s essential you protect yourself.
Anonymity = Safety
Offering anonymity is one of the many features the best Catholic dating sites have. You’ll never feel uncomfortable getting to know a person when you know it’s safe. Never use your real first or last name in your screenname and don’t be afraid to keep the relationship on the Catholic dating site for as long you need to. If you don’t feel comfortable taking it offline, don’t. The site will protect the other party’s anonymity as well, so it’s up to you to get a feel for that person’s character and intentions.
Look for Multiple Options To Interact
How do you get to know someone on this level? The more applications, the better. The best Catholic dating sites allow you to interact with users in a variety of ways. Your conversation may start on the chatrooms or forums of a site. This is like a mixer at a community or church event. There’s nothing wrong with mingling and getting to know someone like this if you’re too intimidated to reach out to someone in a one-on-one fashion. From there, the conversation may move to private messages. This is like an inbox within the Catholic dating site. This prevents you from sharing your personal email address with this person, but still gives you a place where you can interact on a personal level.
Instant Messaging Is a Must-Have Option
After an extended period of chatting with someone through private messaging, you can move to instant messaging. This means you’ll be speaking to each other in real time. There’s nothing like seeing if your chemistry transitions to real time. If you have a lot in common and got along in the direct messaging phases, it’s likely you’ll find out you are a fantastic match once you being instant messaging. It’s a fun feeling that mimics what it will be on a real date with this person
Setting up the right profile when joining a Catholic dating site is essential to finding the right match for you. That said, most people new to online Catholic Dating aren’t sure how much information to divulge and what things to hold back on. In this article you’ll learn 4 tips for setting up your Catholic Dating Website Profile.
1. Anonymity is Safety
Just because you’re on a Catholic dating site doesn’t mean you’re safe. You still want to protect yourself when dating online. After all, unsavory characters can pop up anywhere. It’s important to obtain a certain level of trust without revealing too much about yourself. Keep your first and last names to yourself. In your profile you should have a quirky screenname that helps you stand out without divulging your first or last name. Should you run into problems with a potential mate, you won’t have to worry about them trying to find you elsewhere online.
2. Keep it Light and Don’t Leave Identifying Clues
Keep the conversation light. On your profile, you don’t want to go deep into your past or your future. There’s nothing wrong with giving tidbits about what you’re interested in, but there’s no reason to make a novel out of it. Be authentic in the things you post in your profile and never lie. Who knows where an online connection will lead you. You don’t want to lie about yourself and create a level of distrust from the get-go. On a Catholic dating site you may assume you’re safe, but you have to be just as careful as you’d be on a general dating site.
3. Be Direct About Your Goals
Be direct about what type of relationship you’re after. There’s nothing wrong with saying you’re looking for a long term relationship. Don’t be too forward, but be honest about what you’re looking for. Some may be looking for friends with similar interests and religious beliefs, while others may be after marriage and ready for someone who wants to settle down. There’s no reason to lie in this area either. If you’re a hopeless romantic who’s ready for things to get serious, say it. If you are just entering the online dating world after a bad breakup or a divorce, keep the conversation light and say you’re after friends. Interacting with like-minded people will build your confidence and allow you to transition to being comfortable with dating.
4. Be Forthcoming with Your Age
Include your age. Because a lot of people on Catholic dating sites are looking for a serious relationship, be sure to include your age. You don’t want to make a connection with someone only to find out they’re outside of the age group you’re willing to date. For some Catholics this may not matter much, but for others it can be a factor, so include it to be honest with potential dates. You should also include a few interests outside of church. Church may be a significant part of your life, but it most likely doesn’t consume it. Include a few extra hobbies you enjoy to entice those with similar interests.
